I'm Heartless
by PlasticHearted
Summary: Remus visits James and Lily's graves, and spills his heart out. One Shot


Disclaimer: I am still nothing. And I own nothing...except this ickle fan-fiction. :)

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I'm Heartless

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Remus walked into the cemetery, a red rose in hand. He walked over to the plots where James and Lily were laid to rest. The graves had been dug recently, and the dirt stood above the rest of the yard. He smiled slightly, happy that the two graves stood out. They deserved to stand out, after all the people buried underneath the soil weren't ordinary. Quite the contrary, they were exceptional... extraordinary even. Too bad the graves would blend in soon. It would soon be just another place in the graveyard that no one cared about, and no one would understand Lily's headstone. He stared at the headstones, and read them slowly to himself.

"James Thomas Potter. A beloved father, husband and friend."

"Lillian Evans Potter. Left the world with hearts of many."

Remus fought back tears as he reread Lily's headstone. No one would understand what that meant. Unknowingly he squeezed the rose in his hand, and the thorns dug into his palm. He opened his hand and saw blood running down to his wrist. He wiped his blood away on his coat, and looked at the stem of the rose. He suddenly recalled why he had chosen a rose to lay on her grave.

He didn't remember the conversation exactly, but the two of them were sitting inside The Three Broomsticks. They some how found themselves on the topic of favorite flowers. Remus had assumed that her favorite was a lily. But, no. She felt that lilies were too delicate. Roses were symbolic. They were beautiful, but you had to get around the thorns to win them.

A tear slipped out of Remus' eye and down his cheek. He didn't get around the thorns. James had. He stole Lily's love. It all happened so quickly.

Remus and Lily had been dating secretly at the time James asked her out. She didn't mean to say yes, so she said. Remus believed her. What was going to happen? James would try and show off to her, she would roll her eyes at him and run back into Remus' arms, right? Remus had never been so wrong. James was shy on that date. Lily thought it was cute, and broke it off with Remus after their second date. James never found out they were dating. They acted like everything was fine. Remus had been so understanding...

They were too alike, she had told him. They would get bored of each other. Remus waited for the day they would get tired of each other. It never came. And it never would now.

He bent down beside the mounds of dirt.

"I'm sorry, guys. I lied to both of you. I told you two that I didn't love Lily. I did. I loved her with everything that I am. I wish I didn't, but I did. I couldn't help it... James, you know what I mean. Lily, you were perfect. Feisty...but perfect. I wish...No. I don't. James, you were wonderful to Lily. You deserved her. I never did. Not once did I do something to show her how much she meant to me. I never told her, either. No picnics by the lake...no spontaneity at all. I want to apologize for that, Lily. Even when we were dating...it was secret. I hated that. I wanted to let everyone know that I was dating the most wonderful person ever. Maybe we would have made it...maybe the two of you would still be here. Maybe there would be one less orphan in the world...maybe..." Remus stopped. He shook his head, and by now tears were flowing in a steady stream out of his eyes. He placed the rose in the middle of the two graves and stood.

"I'm sorry, James. I didn't mean it..." He whispered.

He faced Lily's headstone and read it aloud, several times. He shook his head and ran his shaking fingers through his brown hair.

"I need to be able to love again, Lily. I gave you my heart long ago...but now I need to back...I need my heart back..." He whispered.

Remus heard someone giggling in the distance. He looked up and saw a young girl of about 6. He walked toward the gate, where she was playing. He was still weeping but he continued walked. The little girl had blonde curls and huge brown eyes, and at that moment, she had a pig snout for a nose. Remus said this and chuckled a bit.

"Are you okay, mister?" She asked him with a smile plastered upon her face. Remus gave her a small nod and heard a woman yelling from across the street.

"NYMPHADORA! It's time for dinner!" The little girl shuttered at the sound of the name.

"Nymphadora? That's a pretty name." Remus said as he smiled at her.

"No...it's not..." She said sadly. "Its ugly...I wish I could change it..." She paused for a second. "I guess I should go...I hope you feel better, mister." She said as she skipped off the house across from where Remus stood. He couldn't help but smile broadly at the woman standing in the doorway of the house. She smiled back and waved to him. Remus gave her a small nod and looked up at the sky.

"Thank you, Lily." he said before he started walking back down the sidewalk.

_Fin._

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Thanks for reading, guys! Please leave a reveiw, constructive critisism is encouraged! 


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